The Shit

Honestly... I'm exhausted. I get it's early on, but I'm tired of this shit. I want "worthwhile" all the time. Not just when someone wants something. And when I say "someone" I mean the other person. And "something" I mean someone to listen, and good sex. *shrug* Do I want to be those things for someone? Yes. But I want to be them all the time.

I'm tired of falling into things with someone that feels right, and then turns out so wrong; fighting for something so broken it just needs to be put down and left alone.
I'm tired.

I want someone I can plan a life with; who is a bit older than I (I like older women). Tattoos; good ones. Not patchy shitty shit. *cough* Well off would help. Sure of herself and her wants, and sexually adventurous. *cough* *cough* And able to have kids. And loves dogs, if she doesn't already have one... or more.

Just... no more games. No drama. I want a straight fucking shooter. Like me.
Why is this shit so hard.

Leading the Monkeys

I spent the last three days as CNC Lead Hand, at work. I trained a bit before our shifts changed, and never got a shot at an interview. Then when one stepped back to his original spot, as the "Guy Who Knows All and Can Fix Anything on the Machines", I got an interview. And lost of due to - and I quote - "lack of experience."

As an X-Ray Tech, it's hard to continue learning that spot as I need to always man my machine to make sure there are no malfunctions (radiation is a bitch), view pictures, and make rate. So when we were lacking in parts to x-ray (or as my co-workers say, "[ėx-uh-ré-ē]") and the Lead Hand on the opposite shift was on vacation, I was all over taking that spot when they asked. A $6.50/hr raise plus shift premium. 36 hours never looked so good.

Then... the weekend came. Machine crashes happened. Lack of training became apparent, and stupid people showed up.

I have great issue with stupid people. Like huge. So when people are weird AND stupid, I wanna do great bodily harm to them.

Crooked old man with hair on the bridge of his nose, and stands like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Yeah. You need a good punch. Repeatedly.

Between running a machine after seeing the hydraulic fluid was low, and then over filling it after hearing an alarm sounding and not looking to see why the alarm is sounding. And not following directions. And acting like a know it all when I have more seniority and training. Yeah, fuck you. After 24 hours, my patience is zero for your shit.

I need more training for that position, but I can only get it if I pick up overtime. And I need the Plant Manager to approve me for overtime to train by shadowing a Lead Hand. So my hands are tied, and it's not fair.

But I'm fighting and trying. And my god I wanna punch stupid people. I thought working as a hockey referee would have me ready for that shit, but after 12 hours of repeating myself... it's draining. But I kept myself in check, and didn't ship the fucker off in an ambulance. So... little wins.

"Are you SHITTING ME?!" (Seeking a Friend for the End of the World)

I'm starting this before the movie has even finished. I'm watching the last bit as I type.

It started off kind of... off. Hard to explain. Sometimes Steve Carell's humour doesn't strike right. And... the timing was good, just... maybe I wasn't in the mood. Some of the stuff was like The Office before he left.

The Office was great when it started. Smart humour. Gotta think about it. But as it aged it left that British humour, and became slap-sticky. Like The Three Stooges.

Nothing wrong with that, just... I can only deal for so long.

But as the movie moved on, though marked as a comedy, it got deep. And emotional, and touched that drama genre too. And the depth reached the comedy side too, which was fantastic.

Before the end you find yourself falling in love with the main characters, and feeling what they do. They acted their parts well. And what got my heart in my throat was Dodge giving Penny the greatest gift he could give as the world came to an end.

Keira Knightley showed that she can play an in depth character, who doesn't need saving, dressed in modern clothes, while still sporting that hotter than the apocalypse accent.

A must see.

Fictional Romance

Taking a seat in the local pub at lunch, knowing exactly what he hopes to have. He looks across the room to a beautiful woman on her laptop, avidly staring into the screen as she types furiously. Wanting to know what she's writing; knowing he may never find out.

The waitress comes over to ask what he'll have; he orders a steak burger, and upgrades his side of fries to a proper Canadian dish. Poutine.

Looking over to see what this beauty is up to now; still in her chair, but now peeking at last night's sports scores on the TV, smiling as the blatant run through flashes on the screen of the Broncos crushing the Vikings. A win that is always expected. Her eyes glaze back over as the replays come on for the Patriots game. A win in his books as they ruined the Saints.
She finds her muse again for whatever she's writing and turns back to her screen and types even more furiously than before.

The waitress brings her what looks to be fish and chips, she glances up in thanks, reaching for a fry as she continues on her train of thought.

His drink arrives. He takes a swig and mumbles to himself, "What are you writing?"
Looking to the TV to watch the hockey replays life seems to fast forward. He gets up and walks over, asking her out. Next thing he knows they are out, enjoying a nice meal with a bottle of wine. Giggling as their hands meet, both reaching for the bottle at once. Feeling the warmth of her hand near his. Smiling as he gently takes her hand and kisses it.

Paying the bill, and helping her into her coat; sliding his arm around her waist, feeling her welcome it there, as if it's home. Holding the door as they leave, taking her hand in the parking lot as they walk to his truck. Helping her in so he can drive her home.
Taking her hand as he helps her out, and walks her to her front door. Waiting for a hint that maybe the night could lead somewhere more pleasant that it has already been; his heart racing as he's already flying so high.

She reaches for her keys, hesitating.
"I had a great time tonight." She smiles in agreement.
He steps close, snaking his arm behind her back feeling sparks fly in anticipation. She gasps stepping back and leaning against the door. His arm and the door the only things keeping her from the ground. He braces himself against the door with his forearm, as he squeezes her tight to keep her on her feet. Leaning forward into her, their noses brushing, breath entwining in the little space that's left between their lips. She bites her lip, aching for him to close the distance; he moves closer with millimeters to the kiss that can only be described as "perfection."

Snapped back to reality by a jostle. Still in the pub; zoned out facing the TV, now back to football scores and replays from last night.
"Oh sorry," she says after bumping him on her way out, resting a long nailed, well manicured hand on his shoulder in apology.
"No worries. Have a great day."

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

What an amazing movie.

It was great from start to finish. With Ben Stiller not only acting and producing, but directing as well, it was a film to behold.

Taking the viewer from the dreamworld we all have taken part in at one point or another in our lives; c'mon don't be afraid to admit it. Then to an extravagant adventure that keeps us all dreaming for the same.

A search for one man, showing another the man he can be and giving him the revelation that he doesn't need to some out in his own reality to be as cool as he wants to come across shows everyone that cool - just like beauty - is in the eye of the beholder.

And the last scene showing the power of hard work, and friendship; it's enough to take your breath away and leave you with a teary eyed smile.

So to all out there, remember your ABCs. "Adventurous, bravery, creativity."

Californication

Just started watching this and it made me think about blogging again. So! I'm back! What is up?! (And now I'm a loser.)

Alongside my want to continue here, I rejuvenated my love's dream. She's always said she wanted to be a writer. I spurred her on. Told her I'm behind her 100%. *whispers* I also like the view; that helps.

I just thought that given all the givens, she'll have the time to do it now. To properly pursue her dream and give it her all. And I support that. I support her in her endeavours and dreams, and I want her to have everything. And until she's legally allowed to work she'll have the time to dream and work for it.

This is also a good thing because given the time, she can get it going and have a cozy job she loves when she can work.

I feel like an ass talking like that, but we all know I'm a thinker. That's what I do, I think.