The Shit

Honestly... I'm exhausted. I get it's early on, but I'm tired of this shit. I want "worthwhile" all the time. Not just when someone wants something. And when I say "someone" I mean the other person. And "something" I mean someone to listen, and good sex. *shrug* Do I want to be those things for someone? Yes. But I want to be them all the time.

I'm tired of falling into things with someone that feels right, and then turns out so wrong; fighting for something so broken it just needs to be put down and left alone.
I'm tired.

I want someone I can plan a life with; who is a bit older than I (I like older women). Tattoos; good ones. Not patchy shitty shit. *cough* Well off would help. Sure of herself and her wants, and sexually adventurous. *cough* *cough* And able to have kids. And loves dogs, if she doesn't already have one... or more.

Just... no more games. No drama. I want a straight fucking shooter. Like me.
Why is this shit so hard.

Leading the Monkeys

I spent the last three days as CNC Lead Hand, at work. I trained a bit before our shifts changed, and never got a shot at an interview. Then when one stepped back to his original spot, as the "Guy Who Knows All and Can Fix Anything on the Machines", I got an interview. And lost of due to - and I quote - "lack of experience."

As an X-Ray Tech, it's hard to continue learning that spot as I need to always man my machine to make sure there are no malfunctions (radiation is a bitch), view pictures, and make rate. So when we were lacking in parts to x-ray (or as my co-workers say, "[ėx-uh-ré-ē]") and the Lead Hand on the opposite shift was on vacation, I was all over taking that spot when they asked. A $6.50/hr raise plus shift premium. 36 hours never looked so good.

Then... the weekend came. Machine crashes happened. Lack of training became apparent, and stupid people showed up.

I have great issue with stupid people. Like huge. So when people are weird AND stupid, I wanna do great bodily harm to them.

Crooked old man with hair on the bridge of his nose, and stands like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Yeah. You need a good punch. Repeatedly.

Between running a machine after seeing the hydraulic fluid was low, and then over filling it after hearing an alarm sounding and not looking to see why the alarm is sounding. And not following directions. And acting like a know it all when I have more seniority and training. Yeah, fuck you. After 24 hours, my patience is zero for your shit.

I need more training for that position, but I can only get it if I pick up overtime. And I need the Plant Manager to approve me for overtime to train by shadowing a Lead Hand. So my hands are tied, and it's not fair.

But I'm fighting and trying. And my god I wanna punch stupid people. I thought working as a hockey referee would have me ready for that shit, but after 12 hours of repeating myself... it's draining. But I kept myself in check, and didn't ship the fucker off in an ambulance. So... little wins.